8 Weeks Old Update!
Why hello world! It’s been a while!
My gosh what a rollercoaster of a journey the last 8 weeks have been. Motherhood is a beautiful beast that rips you apart and fills you up with love. I have always wanted to be a mother but even with this natural instinct I questioned myself at every turn.
The lack of sleep and relentless exhaustion hit me like a house on fire! The first 4 weeks were all a complete blur whilst I tried to keep this little human alive and recover myself. I was beyond thankful to have help around me with my mum coming to stay for a week and then my sister for another week. It really takes a community to raise a child or at least help the new mum to transition into her new role. I have a wonderful book called The First Forty Days that really speaks of the importance of these first few weeks and I should of taken it on more seriously! Get all your support team to read it, even if you aren’t following everything (I was definitely not going to eat some of those traditional Chinese recipes!) but just the concept was really beautiful and nourishing.
What made my time a little more challenging was probably my mind and being part of the comparison game. For months in the lead up I followed so many beautiful mum blogs, instagram accounts of had lots of friends that had babies and I really thought it can’t be that bad. Everyone speaks of the intense love the minute their babies entered the world or they are having adorably well put together family photos in the first week or two. All I could fathom each day as a good shower, getting dressed and making sure Harrison was ok. My love for Harrison, in all honesty, was a slow progression over the first month. This scared me but the more I asked around and researched, the more I found this was quite normal. It made me frustrated that not more women spoke of this so I am telling you it’s ok! You obviously care deeply for this little being you created but getting to know this new human whilst feeling completely wrecked and handling the family dynamic changing is a big thing to comprehend. Don’t feel bad. Just know that it will get better.
By week 6 I started to feel more like me and started to understand Harrison a bit more so it all kind of fell in to place a little easier. He is a super healthy and wonderful boy so we are incredibly lucky that we haven’t had any complications to handle and I need to remind myself of this quite often. I am definitely susceptible to depression and mental illness so that has been my biggest hurdle. My incredible midwife kept very close tabs on me because of this and I am glad she did. Isn’t it funny how you don’t realise how broken you are until someone asks the simple question “are you ok?”. Oh man I was a mess the minute someone asked this so I had to work hard to keep my cool out of the house!
It’s all such a new learning curve but once you hit week 6-8 your little bub will start interacting more and giving you much clearer signs of what they want and it’s just so much easier! Harrison has the most heart melting smile I have ever seen and it makes every hard moment of the day good again. The snuggles are heavenly and when he only wants to fall asleep on my chest I remind myself that these times won’t last long so I hold him tighter and give him all the good vibes I can. They are so precious and to come in to the world from such a warm safe place would be incredibly scary and intimidating so don’t feel like you are spoiling them if you need to hold and cuddle them all day. They are so small and routines and such can come in around week 12 which is my aim (will update you on how this goes!) therefore in the meantime I am just trying to breathe deep and relax as much as I can. I want to remember this time.
I am working on a post that will give all my tips and tricks on ways to survive those first few weeks and I will be sure to put them into place next time around! Stay tuned my loves xx